Monday, January 3, 2011

Bloggie Gift Exhange -Proud Owner an Anus Cup and a Thermajock.

Now don’t fall out of your chair, but yes, you are seeing an actual blog post from me. It’s been so long since I’ve posted, I almost forgot how to use blogger.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas (or whatever you celebrate) and New Years! I just got back from what Jill calls my “trek across the US”. I spent four days visiting my family and friends in Missouri and then four days with my husband’s family in Dallas. I know you are jealous, I mean, who wouldn’t be.

I made a few goals for myself to follow on my trip:
1.) No blogging or reading blogs, so that I could give my full focus to my family.
2.) Drink and be merry, but NO HANGOVERS.
3.) Eat myself into no less then two food comas.

Score on all three. Here are a few photos from our trip:

Me with my brother and sister. My sister surprised me with her red/brown hair. She's normally a blonde like me!

My daughter and me hugging my in-laws two Great Pyrenees dogs. They are beautiful!

My husband and me

My daughter wanted to hold one of my in-laws baby goats. You can tell she's a city slicker.

When I got home, my Christmas gift from Jill's Holiday Gift Exchange was waiting for me!!! Quinton or "Q" as we know him, sent me two Vanilla Gingerbread GU's (to eat by the fireplace), an official Anus Cup to sip my favorite beverage from (wine from an anus mug), and not one, but TWO Christmas Thermajocks (is that REALLY what these are? I think he may be trying to make me look like an idiot, which wouldn't be hard too do).

I was a little baffled at first by the Thermajocks, I had no idea what they were.

Thumb less mittens??

Dog shoes?

Then I read his card and realized that they were the infamous thermajocks. For those who don't know, The Thermajock is used to protect the penis from cold and chafing during cold weather activities. You all didn't realize that I had one of those did you. For your convenience, I linked the website, so you can go read the testimonials from the men who have used them. You can also find them on facebook should you be so inclined.

I was also extremely pleased that he sent me an anus cup. In my previous post, I blogged about how I had found an anus plate on the web (I know!) and that I was going to send one to my blog exchange person. Amanda wanted to know if I actually sent the plate, so I wanted to let her know that no, I didn't end up buying and mailing the plate, it was too expensive and I'm way too cheap and redneckish to spend my money on fancy anus art. I sent Molly, a ponytail headband from TrailHeads instead. Boring....I know.

Anyway, thank you Q for my Christmas gifts!!! I especially loved seeing the fat ass, pleasantly plump snow man again (as well as my own fat ass!). I should have taken a picture of the card, it was so creative.

This post is getting ridiculously long, so I'll go now. Next post, I'll talk about my running (yup, starting this week!) and 2011 goals. For now, Happy New Year!


misszippy said...

Is it me, or are those thermajocks awfully small? Wow, you scored!

Happy new year!

Kovas Palubinskas said...

Welcome back! I'm a Thermajock believer, giggly other runners notwithstanding. Mine is not a xmas version though.

Mamarunsbarefoot said...

STOP IT! I'm laughing soo hard!!!!! Therma jocks!!!!! HAHAHA!!!!

Danielle said...

I should have followed your goal #2 for your trip!
Thermajocks look like marble bags? but ridiculously funny gift! love it!

Teamarcia said...

I was thinking they were nut cups. Great to hear you're up and running--girls' weekend hear we come!

ShutUpandRun said...

OK, the anus cup. I so wish I could have registered for that kind of china when I got married. Do you think they have dessert plates?

And the thermajocks. Nothing says merry christmas like stockings on your weiner.

Bowing down to Q for his most excellent choices.

That's all I got.

Amanda - RunToTheFinish said...

AHAHAHAHAAAAA I love that you got that!!

those dogs are beautiful

Laurie said...

I've got nothing... but glad you enjoyed your time with family and congrats on the stellar gifts. Q is so thoughtful... hope the Thermajocks come in handy?

ThE MidLiFe CrUiSeR said...

I nearly googled "Anus Cup" when I read the title of your post.
Glad you gave us a visual later on, because that's how I learn best :)

The thermajock...well, at least it got you to type the word penis in a blog! I mean, how often do we girls get to say penis, let alone TYPE the word PENIS? LOL!

Thanks for finding/following my blog so I could find you back and start stalking you! YOU ARE SO FUNNY!


Molly said...

I love my headband, I've worn it three times already : )

I think the thermajock doubles as a holder for mini bottles of booze, like you get on airplanes. Nip then Run!

Yay for getting back to running!

Happy New Year Chickie!

Char said...

Congrats on achieving your holiday goals. They were good ones - especially the food coma one.

And those dogs - just gorgeous (but I am an unashamed dog-lover)

Anna said...

I am DYING! I now feel an innate desire to buy a Thermajock for my husband as a gift for Valentine's Day.

Laura said...

I love your long blogs!

Thanks for your comment. Good luck with your running. I'm happy you can start up again. I'm sure you'll hear about my training & how I'm dying. I wish I was a natural runner like you. Please pray for me every day until June 4. :)

Jill said...

I can't believe you didn't have Rick pose with those holiday jocks and take a pic so we could see if yes, that's what they were.

I think Q has some 'splaning to do.

That anus cup is about the best gift anyone got on this entire gift exchange. YOU ARE LUCKY!!!

The Christmas card just cracked me up! Yep, we picked the right blog buddy for you!

Katie A. said...

LOVED this! Looks like Christmas was a success!
Wow, a blogging buddy who really knows you could use a thermajock - and to think all I got was a t-shirt, sheesh!
Miss ya tons, glad you're back running! We need to chat soon!

Jesse - Run To The Border said...

What does a girl need Thermajock's for?

Quinton J said...

Tara…I’m so glad that you liked your gifts. To be clear…the ‘Holiday’ Thermajocks were for the special man in your life…who would obviously need two. It’s an indirect gift to you really…if you know-what-I’m-sayin’? Jill rocks for putting this together…I can’t wait until next years…

Jennifer said...

I am still laughing! I like the dog shoes best, except your pooch doesn't look too impressed! Happy New Year!!

Jamie said...

Awesome gift! Too funny.

Looks like you had a great holiday! Happy new year!

Keri said...

On the same lines, the gift my husband and I received in our neighborhood gift exchange was a Tuggle. It is like a Snuggie but for a man's you know...

So glad you survived your trek to Missouri. I waved to the Bobber Cafe for you when we drove by Boonville. I begged my husband to stop at Ozark Land in Kingdom City for all the Christmas favorites like walnut bowls, fudge, moccasins, but he told me there was no time. :(

Happy 2011 and wine drinking!

Iron Mike said...

Funny pictures.
Yeah um I hope you and the pup washed your hands after handling the jocks. At least that product is further proof that guys are a bunch of sissies.

Shana said...

Good to 'see' you.
Your husband is cute.
He reminds me of mine.
Happy New Year!

Meg said...

Those thermajocks were very, very, tiny tiny. Loved them on your dog, you are HILARIOUS. I've missed this humor. Stop slacking off and doing things like dealing with your life!

Kristin said...

Classic gifts! Haha. Happy New Year!

Julie said...

Hi Tara!
Hey girl, it is great to have you back! I am just taking a few hours to catch up on reading my blogs:) I have been a very bad blogger lately.

Fun pictures of your Christmas! I love the one with your daughter and the goat! Priceless:)

E-mail me when you have a moment. I am not sure if I still have yours. I want to chat about something....we have daughters about the same age. Help:)

jkaiser4 at

I will be back at work tomorrow and will e-mail you then.


FruitFly said...

There are so many awesome things about this post!! First I was all into the gorgeous dogs. But then I really wanted to hold the goat. And then came the Thermajock! I had NO idea either!! That is just too freaking funny!! I feel like those would go great with the old lady lesbian porn I ended up with at a White Elephant party this year. I feel I should note now that I am totally NOT a lesbian! Ah, Christmas, the season of giving! :)

Welcome back to blog world!

Andrew Opala said...

two thermajocks?

anus cup ...


This is an awesome post ... I actually understand everything and I'm over 45!

dannie chOOng said...

Vanilla Gingerbread GU ??? that's something new and surely we dont have that in Malaysia. How does it taste like ????

ThE MidLiFe CrUiSeR said...

Aren't boobs SUPPOSED to be two different sizes? That's what my ma told me when I got mine :) LOL!


Adam said...

HOW did I miss this post. OMG OMG OMG. hahahahahha