Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Skinny Bitch




First of all, did I miss the memo that today was "drive like a funktard day" in the Tech center? I actually saw one guy eating a bowl of cereal on his morning commute. Are you kidding me? Can't you just get up an extra 15 minutes so that you can eat your cereal at home? Ok, I'm sure everyone runs a little late every now and then, but dude, ever heard of a cereal BAR? Might be a little safer then driving with a bowl of milk in your lap. I'm just saying.

Anyway, the other day Madison and I made the trip to the bookstore to look for a book from her summer reading list. Yep, school is only two weeks away. While she was looking for her specific book, I wandered the isles trying to find new authors and new titles that I haven't read yet. I headed straight for the Jodie Picoult section and picked up "Change of Heart". I have been wanting to read this for awhile and Jodie is one of my favorite authors, so I knew that I had made a good selection. As I turned the isle to look for Maddie, "Skinny Bitch" caught my eye. I'm sure that you have heard of it. Its' the "no-nonsense, tough-love guide for savvy girls who want to stop eating crap and start looking fabulous!".

I'm a savvy girl. I eat crap. I want to look FABULOUS! I, of course, bought the book.

I actually consider myself a healthy person. I run and like to feel good, so I really do not eat a lot of crap. Now, I do eat my fair share of cake icing or cookie dough, but for the most part, I eat clean and wholesome foods. I do have a couple of everyday vices though. Soda. The nightly alcoholic beverage. I did say beverage...not beverages (ok, who am I kidding). I wanted to see what the hype was all about. The book was supposed to be: "part best-friend counsel, part drill-sergeant abuse and a dash of sailor mouth, wrapped in a pretty chick-lit package.” Sounds like something that I would totally dig.

The first few pages of the book had me intrigued. "habitual drinking equals fat-pig syndrome. Beer is for frat boys, not skinny bitches. It makes you fat, bloated, and farty."

Talk to me bitches.

I read on: "Soda is liquid Satan. It is the devil. It is garbage....now don't go patting yourself on the back if you drink diet soda. When methyl alcohol, a component of aspartame, enters your body, it turns into formaldehyde. Laboratory scientists use formaldehyde as a disinfectant or preservative. They don't fucking drink it. Perhaps you have a lumpy ass because you are preserving your fat cells with diet soda."

This skinny bitch is saying bye-bye to her daily Diet Mountain Dews. I'll probably keep the beer though (you could tell me my eyebrows would fall out and I'd still drink beer. I've got a pencil).

My favorite Chapter so far: "The Dead, Rotting, Decomposing Flesh Diet. You are a total moron if you think the Atkins diet will make you thin." This chapter alone and the descriptions on the treatment of mass produced farm animals for meat consumption, makes me want to give up my burgers and chicken. And I'm a meat eater. Rick and I have already talked about eating less meat, so this book is a good reinforcement.

Ok, these chicks are right up my alley. Blunt, tell it like it is, and huge smart asses. I recommend picking up the book and giving it a go through. There's some pretty solid advice on healthy eating in there.

BTW: A Skinny Bitch is someone who enjoys food, eats well, and loves her body as a result. It has nothing to do with how much you weigh or what size you are! Skinny Bitches come in all beautiful shapes and sizes!

Training this week: Monday an hour run. Tuesday: strength and cycling. Wednesday: hour run. Thursday: more running and strength. Weekend: 10 mile long run.

16 comments:

Jamoosh said...

Good call onthe beer - carb loading...

Like you knew I wouldn't disapprove of you continuing on with your nightly brew.

Meg Runs said...

Thanks for the laughs...keep tellin' it like it is. They didn't mention wine??

Cheetah Girl said...

I've heard about this book before... the diet coke thing is interesting. I'm also a HUGE diet mountain dew addict.. and I'm trying very hard to cut back! Keep us informed! :)

Jamie said...

Give up diet coke and alcohol? Hmmm... no thanks! Guess the big butt isn't going anywhere anytime soon!

Chris said...

I've never heard of this book, but the excerpts you've shared make sense to me. Funny stuff!

Hope your foot is feeling better. :-)

Katie said...

This book is awesome! IloveitIloveitIloveit :) I feel the same way about the humor as you do. Be real or go home! BTW, Love your blog! I look forward to following you!

TX Runner Mom said...

People drive like that here everyday! That book sounds great...I'm with Meg, did they say anything about wine? And I don't know if I can give up my addiction to Diet Coke with Lime.

Chad Aaron Sayban said...

"This skinny bitch is saying bye-bye to her daily Diet Mountain Dews. I'll probably keep the beer though (you could tell me my eyebrows would fall out and I'd still drink beer. I've got a pencil)."
--------
Classic! Sounds like an interesting book. You'll have to let us know how the rest of it was.

M2Marathon said...

LOL sounds funny! Ah, I've always said that Atkins was horeseshit. I will buy anything that supports that claim!

What do they say about Starbucks? I can do without pop (aka soda) and I only have the occasional beer or wine...but Starbucks I will never let go!!!!

kristen said...

I'm too scared of that book. I don't want to stop drinking beverageS. What I don't know wont kill me right...? Ok, maybe in this case it will. Sounds like these bitches do my kind of reinforcement.

Julia said...

Many of my friends have read that book; but I have yet to read it. I eat clean too, most of the time, so I don't think I'll learn too much, and I'm also intimidated by the tone of the book, lol. College textbooks never intimidated me, but a couple of girls talking about food scares me, lol

B.o.B. said...

Yeah, keep the beer but skip the eyeliner pencil while drinking the beer.

Glad you came by my blog as I'll be coming by yours now!

ShutUpandRun said...

Ok I will not be giving up no alcohol, but I love the idea of this book...I'm going to check it out.

Katie said...

Tara, Yes I commented on your blog because I thought you were hilarious and I love that book. I had no idea we were training for the same marathon! I love you even more now!! (But don't worry, not in a psychotic stalker kind of way!)
Happy Training ~ Katie

HappyTrails said...

Love your post - too fun - I am going to track down that book!!!
Thanks for sharing!
K :-)

Molly said...

I've read this one too, a bit too extreme for me, but I definitely took some lessons from it. Have you read "french women don't get fat?" That's on my list, I think my quiche fits the bill for that one! : )