Warning: Men-this is a post about girl stuff, read at your own risk.
I’ve been feeling dark lately. Not quite angry, not quite sad, just a little on the moody side. This is definitely not my norm; I’m usually a happy, good natured person. Not one of those bubbly, bouncing off the wall, annoying types that you want to slap the hell out of, but just someone who is normally in a pleasant mood. Not lately. Lately I have been arriving at work in a “BACK OFF” mood. Loud talking annoys me, laughing annoys me, someone asking me stupid questions-well, that has always annoyed me-but I am having a hard time being nice when I answer their stupid question. My attitude: I’ll be nicer if you can be smarter.
Root cause of my moodiness-Estrogen. I’ve recently switched from progesterone based to estrogen based birth control. I suddenly have extra estrogen skipping around in my veins planting flowers, singing Mary Poppins, and painting everything pink. The little feminine hormones have even managed to skip happily into my chest and make my chest larger. Now, some of you may be asking yourselves “Why the hell would she have a problem with that?” Well…the answer is: THEY HURT. I am a runner and I would prefer a smaller chest rather then a larger one because when a larger chest bounces, well, it hurts. Plus, they are not noticeably larger, just plump enough that I had to go buy a real boulder holder sports bras instead of the old standby cheapies that I normally wear.
I guess that is not the worse place in the world for them to plump up; they could have found my butt.
These little hormone buggers have not only been making me moody and fluffing my pillows, they have made me emotional as well. Those of you who know me, know that I am not an emotional person. I think the last time that I cried was when my dog died from cancer over two years ago. Last week, Rick and I were having a conversation as we drove up into the mountains. It was just one of those general discussions about life that we have every now and then and in the middle of the conversation, my voice cracks and my tears well up in my eyes. He looks over at me and exclaims “What’s gotten into you woman!” He’s used to me being fairly even tempered.
Estrogen, that’s what has gotten into me. Estrogen I’ve come to decide is the root of all evil. I decided to place a call to my doctor to let her know I was ready to go back to my “manly” hormones and stop it with the extra female hormones. I love my doctor, she is one of the few doctors in the world who will actually call you back herself instead of having her nurse do it.
She also sells a line of skin care products and gives facials and microdermabrasion in her office. She is a one stop shop for all of your female needs. My boss probably wonders why I go to the gyno so often, but he’ll never ask.
“Tara! What can I do for you?”
“I want my progesterone back! My pillows are being fluffed, I’m crying over spilt milk, and I’m dreaming of craft shows!” Not really, but you get the point.
She told me to hang in there that my body would get accustomed to the change in hormones very soon and I would feel like my normal self again. If not, we would think about putting me on something else.
Not what I wanted to hear, but I guess I have to accept it. In the meantime, if you find me posting about such things as cross stitching and craft shows that I have attended, someone please send me a virtual slap.
Training for the weekend: Long run on Saturday. Easing back slowly with an 8-9 mile run. Sunday-mountain bike ride in the foothills.