Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Gym...a great hookup place?

Tuesday, I went and did my elliptical duty at the gym for an hour. As usual, I won’t bore you with the details, but I managed to slog through 7 sweaty miles on the machine. I passed the time by watching the chick beside me trying to pick up guys. I first became aware of her because of the extreme perfume that was coming from my right side; I turned to look at her and had to do a double take. She had this huge smile plastered on her face and she was nodding at every dude that went by. I at first thought that she was just retarded (I mean, who smiles like that while they are working out) until I saw what she was wearing (plus the stinky perfume). You could actually see her Victoria’s Secret push up bra - and I know what these look like; I own plenty - through her low cut tank and she was working it in a very short skirt and hoop earrings. Hoop earrings? I kept glancing over at her, very entertained by what I saw. I really hope that she didn’t think that I was interested. She really wasn’t very attractive, but I couldn’t keep from looking at that huge fake grin and wide eager eyes. It was like a train wreck, I couldn’t help myself. She kept eagerly glancing left and right to see if anyone was interested. No one was biting so she finally went and jumped on a stationary bike that was located behind closer to the weight machines. I did the ole neck crane a couple of times, but after nearly falling off my machine I stopped trying to look. Bored and without any entertainment, I finally stopped.

I guess the gym is a great place to pick up the opposite sex if you were looking. I go there in a hat, no makeup, and in whatever Nike shorts that happen to fall out of my closet at the time. No one would want me anyway due to the extreme “efficient” sweating that I do. I’m pretty gross; it’s a good thing that I’m married and not looking. I wonder how many hookups actually happen there. The people aspect is the most interesting part of going to the gym. As soon as I can run again, I’m dropping my membership.

Wednesday, I did a 45 minute bike ride on my indoor trainer. Again…another exciting indoor workout. I would have taken the bike outside, but I was tired and just didn’t feel like it. I kept my cadence up above 100 for awhile and then 90 and just tried to do a fast spin. What I really wanted to do was run. I did my bone scan this week and still don’t have any results yet. My foot still hurts no matter what I do, so I figured that I’m damned if I do and I’m damned it I don’t, so I’m going to go on a test run dammit. I threw my running shoes on and hit the door. It felt great to get out for a short run, but I’m paying for it today. I’m barely hobbling around, but I was hobbling before the run, so whatever.

Tonight is another elliptical “run”. I hope there are some interesting people at the gym to help me get through the workout.


ShutUpandRun said...

Yeah I always wear my best thong and smelliest perfume to the gym. WTF???

Jamoosh said...

You're not sweating; you're glowing - or something like that.

Chris said...

Indoor workouts are SO difficult... due to the boredom factor. I'm sorry.

I see gym tarts too. Dumb girls.

That's a drag about your foot. I apologize because life has kept me away from blogging for the past few weeks. I thought you were doing better! I'm worried for you. Sounds like a stress fracture to me.

Thanks for the Superfeet tip. If I lived closer, I'd come over give you a big, awkward hug! :-)

kristen said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. That's funny about pickup girl. One time I had a guy hit on me and I was actaully a little flattered at first but then he just kept trying to talk to me and I was getting annoyed because I really wanted to just get my workout on(I'm married so it's not like I was biteing (sp?)). Then I saw him talking to another girl the next day, and another girl .... Anyways, obviously he was a habitual gym rat picker-uper. Gross. So cliche.

Sorry to hear your not running right now.